Achieving Perfection

A Woman's Journey in Life: Motherhood and Parenting, Balancing Life, Crafting, Photographing and much more~

MESS FREE BABY SPOON – Babies can learn to feed themselves!

So I have an idea for an invention.  I normally don’t put myself out there quite to this extent, but I think it’s a great idea and nothing on the market exists like this right now.  I even made a prototype – but before you look at it and make a determination about it, know that this is a prototype using readily available materials and you have to read the description to understand what my vision for it is.  The prototype is just an example, not how it will actually look or be designed!

Okay, ready?  Ready?????

Yea, I know, terrible look!  Addison absolutely love this!  This picture was taken after her first taste of pears – they must have been sour!  :)  Read on, for more info, and more pictures!

THE INSPIRATION

After feeding my seven month old and her grabbing the spoon and flinging the food all over the dining room – again – I had an lightning bulb moment.  There are times when she refuses to let me feed her with a spoon.  She is gaining her independence so quickly and wants to feed herself.  But when she grabs the spoon, the food flys all over the place, over me, her, the room, etc.  None of the food actually makes it in her mouth.  Frustrating!  She cries and gets so upset at this – she wants to be able to physically assist in the feeding process and she can’t yet!  What to do?

THE IDEA

What if there was something out there that would allow her to feed herself and actually get food into her mouth and NOT make a mess?  Really?  Not something to take the parent out of the picture, just to put the baby physically active in the feeding process?  She would be able to learn how to use a spoon, it wouldn’t be nearly as messy, frustration-free for her, she would learn hand-eye coordination, and more independence.  Now this isn’t meant for a use for all time.  This is meant as a learning tool while she is developing her hand-eye coordination.  The parent will always use a regular spoon, and as baby develops, eventually he/she will “graduate” to a regular spoon.  But for those in between months, when baby is learning and struggling, this tool would be a huge life saver!

THE PROBLEM

When a baby starts solid foods, which are really pureed foods, they are usually around 4 to 6 months old. After a short period, usually around the time they start crawling, babies start to develop more independence and want to do things for themselves and get very frustrated when someone will not let them do it. In general, babies are fed by an adult with a spoon. It’s a messy process. If you give the baby the spoon as some babies demand or grab from you, it is even messier and the food can be sent all over the room (and all over the baby and you!)

THE SOLUTION

This invention helps a baby while they are gaining there independence by equipping them with the ability to feed themselves. It is not meant to be the sole way a baby is fed. It is meant to assist the adult feeding the baby in the traditional spoon-to-mouth way, by giving the baby their own device to feed themselves. This will assist the baby in learning hand-eye coordination and granting independence to the baby while also giving the baby a sense of accomplishment in being able to feed themselves. It will also alleviate so much frustration felt by the baby! Babies want to learn to feed themselves and doing so in this way provides a calming, mess-free, and frustration-free way to do so!

KEY FEATURES

  • It would be the ONLY product on the market giving the baby control and allowing a MESS FREE way for them to learn to feed themselves and use a spoon! It is meant for the baby to be able to hold onto and use easily.
  • There is a handle or ring that the baby would hold onto that may also have notches similar to those on a teething ring for babies to be able to chew on also for relief. It would be easy for the baby to grip and use to hold onto.
  • There is an enclosed spoon with several tiny holes in it, similar in texture and shape to a bottle nipple or pacifier nipple. There would be a hole at one end of it to insert the food in. There is no way for the baby to get the food out unless they compress or suck on it which releases the food in there mouth. Pound away baby, pound away!! No-mess!
  • There is a mouth guard similar to what is found on a pacifier. The enclosed spoon will be inserted thru the mouth guard. The mouth guard will be behind the enclosed spoon, but in front of the latch and handle. This allows the baby to use the mess free spoon device safely and prevents choking. Safety first!
  • The latch secures the device together and makes sure the food does not leak out the entry hole. The enclosed spoon is inserted thru the mouth guard and latched close which also secures it to the handle. The latch will be easy enough for an adult to open and close, but secure enough for a baby not to be able to open themselves. The latch seals the entry hole of the enclosed spoon to prevent leaks or mess!

So this is just the prototype.  The nipple end has several tiny holes in it that I made.  I detached the end of the pacifier and thru that hole I inserted some pears.  Then I found this spoon that was just the right size to plug the hole and sturdy enough to not come out (even after she banged it on the table)!  The spoon represents the handle.  This is just a representation of the idea!  Not at all how it will look or an accurate reflection of the size it will be!

PRODUCT COMPARISON

  • There is NO product out there that is meant for the baby to use themselves to help learn to feed themselves pureed food besides a regular spoon. My product will provide a MESS FREE tool for the baby to safely and easily assist in meal times, and a frustration free meal time for all involved. The only product out there is for adults to have a mess free way to feed baby, not for baby to feedthemselves.

So I looked into patents and such.  What I would love is to submit my idea to One Step Ahead.  I absolutely love them – the company, the products they carry, etc.  But I don’t physically have a finished product to submit.  So I created a prototype – which is not how the final design will look, it is just to show basic functionality.  A friend told me about http://www.quirky.com – a website that allows people to submit there invention ideas for $10 and a community of members vote on it.  The ideas that get the most votes will be brought to the attention of the Quirky staff and maybe, could be turned into actual products and sold in the marketplace!  I will not have the money any time soon to develop this on my own or get a patent for it (it’s like $4000!) – so I’m hoping, if my idea is as good as I think it is, it will get into the market this way.  But I need YOUR help!

You can vote once per day for 30 days.  Signing up to vote is free and easy.  :)  Please vote!!!  Tell all your friends and family.  Post on your blog.  This is such a good idea!  I’d love your feedback!  Thoughts, questions, concerns????  Let me know!

Okay!  So go to http://www.quirky.com/ideations/296741 and vote every day!!!  Keep checking back!!  Thanks so much guys!  And leave me a comment letting me know what you think and that you voted!  :)

Okay so besides the pics I posted and the description I left for how it would work, I drew a few possible designs of how it could work (rather poorly I might add – sorry!).  So here ya go!
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New beginnings…

Well I’m back.  I’m sure the few followers I had have long forgotten about this blog.  I’ve thought about writing several times, but I wanted to be in a better place than what I was – no more depressing rants!  Lots of things have improved, some have not, but finding a path for me and our family has definitely been accomplished.  :)

Updates:

1.  My hubby graduated from school with his Masters Degree in Teaching.  Yay!  But surprise, surprise, no teaching job was to be in our future.  So what to do?  Only what he does best and has done since he was 14.  Antiques.

2.  Antiques?  Yep.  My husbands parents and grandparents are all in the antique business.  He grew up in that world  and knows all about so many things…especially English Antiques.  Go him!  So he has officially joined his father’s business, they are now 50/50 partners, which is wonderful and scary all at the same time.  We’ve put what little money we had left into this (and my little venture) so we are praying that this is what God has had planned for us all along and that we are doing exactly what we need to do.  He’s in England right now on a buying trip and will return next week.  We’re excited about the future for us and for there business.

3.  I’ve been working on all aspects of “me”.  Not knowing what I wanted out of a career or even the ability to find a job, was really tough.  But we live in a small town and there was just not much out there.  Plus, I have 2 kids and a slew of health problems, so finding the right fit is almost impossible.  But, alas, the sky has opened up.  Taking care of my health is what I’ve been focusing on and though I haven’t noticed a reduction in pain, I have lost over 40 lbs.  Yay!  About 45 more to go and I’ll be down to a healthy weight.  I’m hoping the more I lose, the healthier I will be, the less my pain will be, and things can only go up from there.  On the job front, I decided to do the stuff that I love to do in my spare time, full time.  What is that?

4.  Introducing Big Eyed Bird Designs.  :)  It’s small and a work in progress.  It allows me to take care of my kiddos and work in my spare time, although I try to carve out some structured work hours each day.  It’s an eclectic mix of various crafts, sewing projects, children’s accessories (hair clips, etc.) and vintage and repurposed items.  Love!  I don’t know if it’ll be a success, but this is where my journey has led me and I know God has a plan for us all.  So I’m hoping I’ve finally found where I need to be.  And this is the stuff that I love to do and I am good at doing.  Wanna check it out?  www.facebook.com/BigEyedBirdDesigns

So this is me.  And this is what we’ve been working on the last several months.  The girls have gotten so big.  I’ve worked on me and my husband has worked on himself and figuring out our stuff.  Life is tough.  But we are meant to be and we love each and every moment together and as a family.  I’m going to start posting regularly again and it’ll be like it was.  Just a hodge podge of everything!  A little bit of me and a lot of what I love.  :)

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A Bridge Over Troubled Water

In God‘s economy, you can’t out give God.

Think about that statement.  Process it.  To me, it means that if you give your time and energy and talents to God, He will provide for you in unexpected ways.  When things are tough and you feel you have nothing else to offer, know and trust that God will never give you more than you can handle, and He wants you to do your best to offer yourself up to serve the Lord in whatever ways and with whatever gifts He has blessed you with.

Part of Psalm 34 reinforces this concept.  ”The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth.  The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.  A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all….The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him” (Psalm 34: 15-22).

Life is not easy for most people.  Even the people we may deem as “perfect” in our minds have there own set of problems and issues.  You never know what is going through the hearts and minds of people under another roof.  It is not our job to judge others or say that they are not worthy of our time and talents.  God has blessed us all with some ability, even it’s just the blessing of being a comforting shoulder to those grieving.  Offer yourself up selflessly to help others in need whenever and wherever you can.  Do not expect anything in return.  Ever.  If you give selflessly without any want of recourse, then God will bless your unselfish heart in unexpected ways.  It may not be in ways that we want, but always in ways that we need.

There have been times in my life (and I’m currently in a difficult stage) that I thought that there was no way out of the situation that I was in.  With the economy the way it is, my family is struggling financially.  I lost my job in late 2010 and due to my health at the time and the lack of jobs in our area, I was not (and still not) able to find something sustainable to do.  My husband took a leap of faith and left his dead-end job soon after to do student teaching for a semester so that he could become a teacher (hopefully the following fall).  We prayed that if we kept a tight budget and subsided on savings and student loans that he would find a position that fall and we could get back on track financially and as a family.

With the economy the way it is, he was not able to find a job.  He has been substitute teaching since last fall and though the money is pitiful, it is something coming into our household and we are thankful.  We are praying that God will find it in his will to provide my husband with a teaching position or lead us down another path this year.  I’m still looking for work and now with two children, I’m hoping God will lead me to what I am supposed to do with my life as well.

The reason I’m telling you all of this is because even though our income has been tight and at times non-existent, we have survived so far.  God has always – and at times we have no idea how it happens – provided us with a way to pay for our basic necessities and bills.  We have used student loans to get by as well (we are both still in school part-time), but that is only a small portion of it.  With odd jobs and substitute teaching, and random influxes of income, we are able to make it month to month.  There are times that the money coming in and the money that is supposed to go out doesn’t seem to match, but somehow we are able to get enough together to do so.  By God’s grace we have been blessed.

My husband and I are actively trying to find a way out of our situation, but we know that God has us here for a reason and when He is ready, He will provide us with an answer to our prayers.  Nothing can be done without Him.  While we are waiting, we are using this time to improve our relationships and be role model’s to our children.  I never thought we would be able to spend so much time together or with our children at this young age and for that I am grateful.  I have used my time and talents volunteering in the community as well and lending an ear to those in need.  I try to keep an open mind and heart so when I feel I am needed, I try to be there to offer my services to others.

I know one day soon this trial will end and I am sure another will rise in the future.  But God is always holding our hand during troubling times and this is no exception.  Always give openly and you will be blessed.  Remember the bible verse from earlier….”[a] righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all” (Psalm 34:19).

Looking back at difficult situations in your life that you have overcome, did God always provide you with a way to rise above your situation, even if it was in an unexpected way?

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New Beginnings with Lent

Since today is Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of the Lent season, I’ve been thinking a lot of what I wanted to do to make the most out of the time between now and Easter.  There are several things that I think I will do/not do to commemorate and celebrate the season.  My faith is hanging on by strings.  Of course, I believe in God and believe He is the answer.  But that is about the extent of my knowledge.  I did not grow up in Church and have never developed a strong relationship with my religion.  I want to raise my children differently than my parents raised me, so part of my daily Lent ritual will be to do a daily devotional in order to explore and understand my faith.  I hope by doing so I will create a deeper spiritual connection that will help my faith become strong and unbreakable and create a habit that will continue for a lifetime – long after Lent is over.  I want my children to be able to look to me for spiritual guidance and inspiration.

Here are a couple of Bible verses on faith that I hope will inspire you during this season:

“Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” – Hebrews 11:1

“Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-contol, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.” – 2 Peter 1:5-8

So I’m going to make a list of my goals during Lent season.  Things I’m going to add to my daily ritual at least until Easter and things I’m going to give up.  It may seem excessive, but I believe I need a strong change in my life and Lent provides the perfect opportunity and inspiration to achieve these goals.

First, I’m going to complete a daily devotional along with a short bible reading.  I may or may not post my thoughts in my blog, but from time to time, I’m sure some postings on my faith journey will make there way to my blog.

Second, as part of my faith journey with my children, I’m reading 2 chapters a night of my daughter’s Children’s Bible to her.  It’s an over-simplified text – perfect for a 3 year old – and I will have finished reading it to her by Easter.

Third, I’m going to give up all Cow’s Milk products – so most milk, cheese and yogurt products.  I believe my daughter (Addison) whom I’m breastfeeding may be allergic, so this provides a double-pronged reason for me to give this up.   I’m so ingrained in eating or drinking something of the cow’s milk variety so this is going to be very tough.

Fourth, I’m going to the doctor today.  Hopefully, I will be released to take up physical activity again (it’s been 6 weeks since my c-section – which also means that Addison is 6 weeks old today!).  If I am released, then I will be doing some type of physical activity each day throughout Lent.  Possible walking (hopefully jogging eventually), yoga, workout videos, etc.

Fifth, to complete a blog post every day.  It can be on any subject.  But I want to write and write I shall.

Sixth, to complete a craft project every day.  It can be for myself or something with my daughter’s.  Sometimes it will be something as simple as coloring.  Other times, it’ll be something more intensive. I may not post these projects every day, but I will post summaries weekly at the very least.

And seventh, make an effort to call or go see someone, either family or friends, that I don’t see often.  I need to make an effort to see my grandparents more often.  I also need to make an effort to call my friends and keep up with them.  Relationships are important and I don’t want mine to fall apart.

So, some of these read like resolutions, and to me that is okay.  This season is about making my relationship with God stronger and creating a deeper faith connection.  All of these things are necessary for me to accomplish that for a spiritual connection that reaches my mind, body and soul.

If you decide to participate in Lent, what are your goals?  Or what are you going to give up?

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When I grow up….

Last night, my 3 year old, Peyton, told me that when she grows up she is going to be a Cowboy.  She already has the hat and everything.  When her baby sister grows up, Addison will be a driver, a fast car driver.  And Addison will drive her around and buy her candy and take her on her cowboy duties.

Yee-Haw!  :)

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My Mom’s Birthday

Yesterday was my Mom’s birthday.  She turned 52.  Crazy how time flies.  I wanted to share with ya’ll a bit of how we celebrated.

Here is a picture of my Mom when she was in her early twenties.  Isn’t she beautiful?

My husband, the kids and myself spent the weekend with my parents, which is how we’ve been spending most weekends recently, since Addison was born.    After my daughter Peyton woke up from her nap yesterday afternoon, we went to the store and bought cake mix.  I know, it’s a mix.  But Peyton wanted to make her Nana a birthday cake herself and it was going to be way to complicated to have her make it from scratch.  Plus, we were in my parents old school kitchen – not the most convenient place for me to bake something from scratch.

We bought the new Duncan Hines Triple Chocolate cake mix and the NEW Duncan Hines Vanilla Glaze to use as icing.  It was delicious (btw)!

Anyway, so the cake was made and it was a success.  It looked pretty good for a 3 year old’s creation.  Peyton added sprinkles and birthday candles to the cake.  And btw, the candles were awful.  They were literally lit for less than 20 seconds and already started melting all over the cake.  Oh well, a little wax won’t hurt you.

Okay, so this next part is my favorite part of the whole day.  My Mom got a big laugh out of it.  Well, we all did.  My 3 year old wanted to get her Nana a special birthday present.  While we were at the store she picked out the following: a Winnie the Pooh and Piglet Valentine’s Day balloon and a Cinderella birthday card.  Perfect for her Nana, right?  Well, it was and she loved it.  What Nana doesn’t want to be told that she’s a Princess?  :)

And here is a copy of the princess card Peyton got for her Nana.  I wrote the words, per my 3 year old’s instruction.

Oh, by the way, the Cinderella Princess birthday card?  It sings, “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes“.  :)

What a wonderful day!  It was a simple, relaxed day, surrounded by family. No better way to spend a birthday for a Nana who adores her grandchildren.

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Sweet Little Prayers

Yesterday morning, I was in the kitchen sterilizing bottles.  Addison was laying down on the couch and Peyton was playing in the same room.  I kept checking on them every minute or so since I’ve had some problems with Peyton being a bit rough with Addison at times.

I checked in on them at one point and Peyton had crawled on the couch next to Addison and was talking to her.  I turned the water off in the kitchen so I could listen in on the conversation.

Peyton was “teaching” Addison how to pray.  She told Addison that it was important to pray because God loves us and He wants to hear from us every day.  Then she went through the nightly prayer that I taught her and told Addison “this is how you do it”.  She said, “Dear God, Thank you for giving me another day.  Please bless everyone I know and love.  Please bless Mommy, Daddy and Addison.  Please bless Grandmama and Grandaddy and Great Grandaddy.  Please bless Nana and Papa and Lala.  Please bless Maw Maw and Paw Paw.  Please Bless Grandmama Faye and T.  Please bless and take care of everyone I know and love.  And please bless me, Peyton.  Please take care of me and help me to be a healthy, happy and good girl.  In the name of your Son, Jesus Christ, I pray, Amen.”

I literally had tears in my eyes the prayer was so sweet.  She held her baby sister’s hand and sweetly told her all of the above.  Gave her a kiss when she was done and then went off to play some more.

There are days that I love nothing more than being surrounded by my sweet girls.  Moments like this make everything absolutely worth it.

My sweet girls: Peyton and Addison.  Mommy loves you.  :)

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Best Friends

I have got to admit, I have the best friends in the entire world.  I know, be jealous.  I mean, seriously, be jealous.  If only you knew, then you would understand.  There are 4 of us, 3 girls and 1 guy.  We are this close knit little group even though we are lucky if we talk once a month, sometimes even once every three months.  It’s sad.  We all live in different places, from California to Texas to New York.  If we have a good year, then we all get to see each other once a year.  I’m lucky in that I live in our old home town for now, so I get to see each of them about once a year, even if we can’t all get together.

Kev and I, it’s hard to explain.  We don’t talk much anymore, but I love him to death.  He’s been with me through a lot and just knowing that he is there if I ever need him (and I hope he knows the same with me) means the world to me.  I really am the worlds worst friend at keeping in contact.  Thank God for our little group – it helps us keep up with each other, even if we don’t actually get to talk to each other often.  Plus, well, facebook.  Sad, but true.  I stalk you on facebook.  It’s true.  I do.  Let’s move on.

Eva.  Eva was the original core of our group.  She is the one who brought us other 3 into our little group and made us all life long best friends.  She is brilliant and amazing and fun.  She is artsy and attempting to live out her dreams in New York City.  She’s an opera singer.  Can that be topped?  Yep.  She is gorgeous, though I don’t think she realizes it.  She makes the boys drool, but she won’t admit that either. She is the best listener and she has saved me from myself more that I care to admit.  She saved me from depression and myself when we were really young.  She has helped me through some rough times.  She introduced me to the theatre and choir and the art of having fun by doing absolutely nothing.  She is my best friend, my sister, my confidant.

Sarah.  I don’t even know where to start with this one.  She and I are probably the closest now out of all of us.  That has a lot to do with the fact that we live in the same state – thank God!  Even if we lived borders apart, once we both graduated high school, we became closer than we had ever been, even in high school.  Sarah is beautiful and talented.  She’s got this gorgeous voice that she is starting to use more often which makes me happy.  We make every attempt to spend time together as often as possible.  She is my life line.  My saving grace.  She probably knows all of my deep dark secrets and I think I know most of hers.  I am more honest with her than I am with myself.  She has been with me through all of my hard times and I have tried to be there for hers.  She has been to every surgery I’ve had and for the birth of each of my children (literally, she drove in each time just to be there the day they were born).  We are brutally honest with each other.  I communicate better with her than with anyone else.  She makes my heart warm, fuzzy and happy.  She’s my sister.  She’s my best friend.  We connect on a deep level and it makes me sad each time we have to end our visits.

The point of this is that we all can go weeks, months even, without talking to each other.  But get us into a room together and we pick up right where we left off.  It’s like no time has passed and nothing has ever changed.  These are the best friends a girl could ever ask for.  And I have no doubt in my mind that they will be the ones I will consider my best friends for the rest of my life.

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Breastfeeding: I think I’m in love

I’m all for a woman’s right to choose how she chooses to nurture her child.  If breastfeeding is the best fit for her and her child, then go for it.  If formula is better for there life and situation, who are we to judge?  I’ve never really leaned one way or the other.  I felt a lot of pressure – peer pressure – to breastfeed with my first child.  It’s like “the thing” to do.  I felt like I wasn’t being a “good mom” to my first child if I didn’t attempt to breastfeed.  And when she was born, I tried.  And tried.  And tried.  And tried until my nipples bled and I was literally supplying and pumping less than 4 ounces a day.  I had to supplement with formula from day 1 and looking back and knowing what I now know, there is a whole lot of shoulda/woulda/coulda, but I did my best for those six short weeks until I went back to work.  I was barely producing anything and I never could get my supply to increase.  I gave up.  It just didn’t work out for us.  And you know what?  My daughter has turned out just fine so far.  She is 3 years old.  Absolutely healthy.  Gorgeous.  Smart.  She knows 2 languages fluently.  She is flawless and yes, I’m her Mother, and you will hear me complain from time to time, but it’s more of in a “I haven’t slept, so I’m ranting, but I love my daughter more than I’ll ever be able to express kind of way”.

However, I will say, that it took me longer to bond with her than it has taken me to bond with baby #2.  I think breastfeeding had some to do with it.  But I think it mostly had to do with the fact that I wasn’t prepared to be a mother.  I had a lot of family in the picture from day #1 which was a blessing, but it took away from a first time mom figuring out a lot of the things that help us grow and connect us to our children.  I did bond with her and now we have a wonderful connection, but it just took a while.  It wasn’t one of those movie moments where you see the Mom weeping and clutching her baby to her bosom.  Of course, I cried and was grateful.  I was so happy she arrived and I loved her instantly.  But for the first few hours, my reaction was, “Cool.  It’s a baby.  It’s my baby.  Whoa!”

With baby #2, I felt a connection immediately.  My supply came in.  And I’m almost to week 4 and I’m breastfeeding every day (and night).  I allow one formula bottle a day mostly so that I can pump and store a little extra and so that I can leave the house if needed on occasion.  This time (again), I was so completely sore and my nipples bled.  They scabbed over and it was absolutely gruesome.  But Addison and I worked through the pain.  We made it past the initiation and I am proud to say, it’s been pretty smooth sailing from then on.  My goal is to breastfeed at least until she is 1.

Our living situation is different.  Hell, our life situation is different this time around.  I’m not working for now.  Baby #2 came at the most inopportune time for our family, but God knows what He is doing and she came at the time she was the most needed and could be the biggest blessing to us.  She has brought our little family unit so much closer and we feel much more connected.  We feel complete.  I don’t know what is different this time – maybe I’ve just grown up a bit?  I don’t know.  But I connected instantly with Addison.  It’s made my connection with Peyton stronger too.  And seeing my hubs with our 2 girls, it’s made our connection deeper and reinforced the love that I’ve had for him all these years.

And I’ve got to say, even though I’m exhausted running around taking care of 2 kids, still recovering from this c-section, I love those quiet moments where Addison wakes up hungry.  She roots around and she knows instantly where to connect to me and it’s amazing.  Those moments, just me and her, sharing much more than food.  We share a connection that I will treasure forever.  And I’m loving every minute of it.

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Better Behavior Strategies

I’m always looking for ways to instill better behavior in my toddler in hopes to have a perfect behaving angel. Wishful thinking, right? Well, a Mom can hope. Here are a few things to do and not do to hopefully correct some behavior problems in your own parenting life.

1. Do NOT give into whining. I know, especially, when you are out in public, when your toddler is whining, it is SO much easier to give in, than stand your ground. When you finally carve out the time to make it to the grocery store, who wants to turn around and go home with no groceries in tow? But giving into whining is a death sentence in your relationship. If you have been guilty of giving in, never fear, you can recover your ground and improve this part of your relationship and your toddler’s behavior. Explain to your toddler that you will no longer tolerate whining. Discuss the consequences. On the very first offense, begin disciplining in the way previously discussed. I believe in giving my toddler choices. For example, I will give her a choice of breakfast on most mornings. When we pick something out, I will not tolerate any whining or changing her mind if she decides she no longer wants it. Stick to your guns. It will be tough at first, but if you stand firm, your toddler will start to understand that whining will get her nowhere and that you will not give in to her incessant requests after a decision has already been made.

2. Curbing bad behavior. This is a tough one and something that is extremely multi-faceted. One part of helping to curb bad behavior is to create a reward chart. The most important thing to remember is to keep it simple. The second most important thing to remember is to actively reward good behavior! It’s important for kids to know that acting good is going to get positive reinforcement and attention from you. For example, for my 3 year old, doing things like brushing her teeth, washing her hands after the bathroom, picking up her toys, sharing, etc., are all things that deserve stickers on the reward chart. Stickers are taken away when she is sent to time out or misbehaves. Rewards vary from simple things like painting or watching a movie (temporary tattoos are BIG in our house) to a trip to the dollar store for a new toy or going to the zoo. You will have to decide what works for you and your family and how many stickers will be deserving of what type of reward. You will also need to decide ahead of time how many times a week or a month your toddler can “cash in” her rewards. You won’t be able to do something on a daily basis, but maybe set aside an afternoon a week for your toddler to be able to cash in her reward. She’ll most likely want to save them for the bigger prizes (most of the time).

3. Don’t say NO. I know, you are thinking, this woman is crazy! And this is more of a parenting trick than a discipline or behavior strategy, but it should help in the long run. Just thing about it in a practical sense. The more you say NO, the more your toddler either doesn’t listen or does it anyway. So when you really need your toddler to pay attention and not do something, she doesn’t take you seriously and might think she can do it until she is sent to time out (if she is really stubborn – like mine)! What if she is doing something dangerous? What if she is about to run out into the street or pull something hot onto her in the kitchen? Yes, in most cases, you’ll be right there beside her to stop her, but what if you are just two feet away and she slips through your grasp? You want your No’s to be heard and respected and listened to right away. You want your toddler to listen, stop what she is doing and turn around and face you immediately. So, how do you accomplish this? Try not to say No. Use other words to make your point. Try not to say everything in a negative context. Instead of saying, “No, you can’t go outside and play”, say something like, “Going outside sounds like fun! Right now we are going to read a book and then eat lunch, but we can go play outside this afternoon”. It’s going to take some effort, but you’ll get used to it over time.

Hope these help you! These are some things we’ve tried and have helped us tremendously in our own home. I’d love to hear if these work for you or if you’ve tried any other behavior strategies that you want to share!

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